and my teaching stint is over.
the past 3 days have been good experience. to have a peek into what goes on behind the scenes, try and see what the teachers do other than come into class and teach. i would say that it's been amusing seating in the staffroom and observing what goes on around me. and yet, i have also come to realise the realities of the working world. and even in such a noble profession, certain things still remain the same.
now i can better decide, if this career is the right path for me. :) 

teaching aside,
it was really good to be back in stnicks. to listen to the familiar voices of mrsgoh and msrockey. to talk to the teachers and see the surprise on their faces when they see me. to see my juniors and sisters of those whom i'm friends with, some of them even in my teaching classes. to attend morning assembly and hear the school song and the school pledge. to eat the canteen food which, to me, is the best i could ever ask for. :) 

just when i was starting to get comfortable, it was time for me to leave. :( i wished i had a longer time there. and honestly, i think i'd do it even without the pay.

stnicks, always, my second home.

2009 has been a blast. I lost close friends, made new ones, hurt and got hurt.

On April, my relationship with you ended, it taught me so much. Although I do not remember what exactly happened anymore, but yes I do still remember that you've caused much hurt, and it took months before we had a clean break. You taught me never to trust easily, you taught me things the hard way. Now we're further apart than ever because of so many things that pissed me off in between, despite many attempts to be friends again. Things didn't work out the way we wanted it to, and till now I still blame you for many things, but I wish you the best in the future.

Through the hurt and pain, all my friends stood by me. I ranted to them everyday and I'm glad they stood by me. They were the ones who made me strong, and also the ones who made me happy again. I am unable to name all of you because I'm afraid of leaving out names, but really I do appreciate all of you :)

I met Cy early last year, through Sebas. We texted alittle and soon enough we became closer and realised that we had feelings. I am grateful for all the things that you've done for me, especially through the period when I was still upset over the break up, but you told me you'd be there till I was able to forget him. Despite me telling you all the nonsense about not wanting to be hurt anymore and that I didn't want to trust you, you stood by me and assured you'll always be waiting. Through it all our relationship became much stronger and I slowly learnt to let go and placed all my trust in you. I bared my heart to you, and I'm not easy to handle. You had to always bear with my moodswings and crazy rantings, without complaining or ever scolding me for being unreasonable. I know I'm always throwing tantrums and yet you'll always give in and still told me you loved me. Thank you for being so patient, I could never ask for more. You're more than I could ever ask, I wish to be the same for you. I want you to know that I'll be there, even though I can never help with your problems. I love you.

The friends who left, never came back. I still feel sad thinking about 08 but that's life right? I've made new friends who are really sweet, and I do count myself very lucky to meet so many nice people in Aj :)

2009 was also the year I struggled the most because of Alevels. Cried so much and was so stressed up over my results, but I always got encouragements from friends and even teachers never gave up on me. I attended extra lessons for all subjects because I failed everything, and there were so many times I really felt like I should give up. I still went through the exams, and now I can only wish that the results are worth my efforts.

I've learnt so much about the importance of my family. I have such a perfect family that I feel bad sometimes when I hear about broken families. I take them for granted at times because everything is always provided for me, my parents would do anything for me and my sister is just so loving. I really appreciate all the family times we had, and I wish that I had more time for them.

I am afraid of what's going to come this year. I do not like changes, I'd very much prefer staying in the same environment, where my friends were always so close. Now that everyone's starting work, I barely get to meet them and that's sad. I miss so many and yet life still goes on for all of us. I wonder where I'll be after my Alevel's results are out, but just like my parents told me, there'll always be a way out.

I do not have the habit of setting new year resolutions. And I'll be amazed if anyone finished reading this entire post, it's so wordy! I'm just hoping that my friends will never leave :)